I've been pondering a lot lately. My mental health, financial stability, professional ambitions, friendships. Though my mental health seems to be stealing a lot of the bandwidth these days. My naturally cheery disposition is at an all time meh. It's been raining very nearly non stop for something like a week and a half and that coupled with the endless gray/black sky is enough to send me howling into the abyss. And still they persist, drop drop drop drop. I listen to the unrelenting piter pater on my roof and windows and wait for my mind to utterly unhinge itself.
Speaking of claustrophobic, we're tits deep in yet another lock down/code red covid situation here in the NL and man this time it's really hitting different. The first 2 lockdowns allowed me to wallow in my curmudgeonly, anti-social tendencies. I've boned up on my knitting, and dumpling making skills (fuck sourdough); read a mountain of books, developed a soduko habit (I'm always always late to the party) and lavished myself on the cuddles and good company of my precocious and hilarious 8 year old. Even homeschooling couldn't throw my chillaxed vibes asunder. I deleted all my queer dating apps and reveled in the quiet content single life. I was so fulfilled being alone, I wondered if I'd ever get the urge to partner up again.
Fast forward to today. I'm wading through a non stop anxiety
stomach gnaw. Business is blurg. The onslaught of baby birthday/sinterklaas/xmas is overwhelming me to the point of a tantrum. And the thought of spending Xmas alone this year (as my kiddo will be doing it up with her father) is making me really weepy. And for some bizarro reason those queer lady dating apps have found their way back on my damn phone. And I am just so. fucking. done. with this fucking pandemic.
Despite the sticky effluvium I'm braising in; I'm busy planning some new initiatives for 2022, because I gots to get out of this place. For one I'd like to reboot this blog. Where I discuss life, art, design & bidness in an off the cuff veneerless sort of way. I'd also like to launch my newsletter, a full frickin year in the making. And lastly, I really really really need to up my social game. When I was killing it on social, it zapped so much time, I was hardly doing anything else. So I'm hell bent on figuring that out in a way that my overwhelming ADHD will allow me. Tall order, I know!
Funny that all my big goals for 2022 are &SAVOIE.CO related. Honestly, I have this idea that if I get this creative studio of mine swinging in an upward motion the rest will be gravy.
Shall we toast to the gravy with some champers?
Happy Winter Solstice Y'all.